Teaching Children about Diversity: Parent Edition

This topic has been difficult to put into words.  I feel that when I talk about diversity I have to be nice to not step on any toes.  That's what has taken me so long to begin writing this entry.  Finally I decided, I'm not going to be careful and just say what I'm going to say.

How to Begin

How do you talk about diversity to your children?  Some may say, my children are too young or they haven't asked about it yet.  Do you know what to say?  This may not be an "easy" topic to discuss or you may not know what to say.  I want to help you.

The first thing to remember is that diversity is not just about people from different countries.  Diverse is anyone who is different than you in any way.  This includes but not limited to race, gender, ability, nationality, sexual orientation, family set-up, economic status, appearance, religion; basically anything that makes us who we are: our culture.

Another question that may be asked in regards to teaching children about diversity is, Why is it necessary?  There are so many answers to that question.

Children begin to construct their identity-to understand who they are-from understanding their own culture and by responding to how others see and relate to them.  To form a positive self-concept, children need to honor and respect their own culture and to have others honor it and respect it, too (Kaiser & Sklar-Rasminsky, 2003).   


The earlier parents become aware of how issues of gender, race, culture and disabilities influence child rearing, the more chances there will be for teachers and parents working together to promote children's anti-bias development (Derman-Sparks, 1989).

I believe it is important to teach children about diversity so they are able to function in the real world.  Many times as parents we shield our children from the world, later when they are independent and confront certain situations they do not know how to deal with them.  Bottom line, we need to teach our children that it's OK to be different.

Setting an example


Children mimic the things we do as early as the infant stage.  Our children watch our every move.  This is how they learn.  We must take this opportunity to set an example and be good role models for our children.  We will directly and indirectly teach our children how to treat others.

We must reflect on our current condition before we begin telling our children treat people a certain way if we are not living up to that standard. 

As teachers and parents, we inadvertently teach our own biases.  It's important for each of us to examine our possible biases and learn how they may influence children-and how to reduce, handle, or even eliminate them (NAEYC, 1989).

Watch out for biases, stereotypes, and prejudism! 

Derman-Sparks & the ABC Task Force (1989) includes several definitions of the terms we discuss:

Bias: Any attitude, belief, or feeling that results in, and helps to justify, unfair treatment of an individual because of his or her identity.

Example: Boys are better at math.

Stereotype: An oversimplified generalization about a particular group, race, or sex, which usually carries derogatory implication.

Example: Portraying a Mexican in a picture as a man wearing a sombrero, taking a siesta wearing a poncho.

Prejudice: An attitude, opinion, or feeling formed without adequate prior knowledge, thought, or reason.

Example:  Assuming Asians are bad drivers.

We all have the right to our opinion and belief but it is our duty to respect others and teach our children the same.  We must agree to disagree being able to hear others opinion and think , "I respect that, but I disagree".

These are ways you can be mindful and respectful when it comes to diversity; teaching your children to act the same:

1.  Use correct terminology/vocabulary to describe people. For example:

-Instead of saying Indian, say Native American.

-Instead of saying deaf, say hearing impaired.

-Use gender neutral terms such as mail carrier, instead of saying mail man.

- Say United States instead of America.  This is a personal suggestion.  We are The United States of America, there is North America and South America, we are not the only America there is.  I feel it is more appropriate to say United States.  Just my opinion.

I don't think that there is a reason to purposely teach these concepts to your children.  There is no reason to point out differences in people.  When talking about a certain group you should be mindful though, and give them an appropriate title.

2.  Don't assume! When in doubt, ask!

- When you are not sure about one's background, just ask! If you don't want to ask, look it up!

-Just because a person might look like they can be from another country, doesn't mean they are. 

3. Respect religions.

- Just because someone doesn't share your religion or spiritual beliefs does not make them a bad person.

- If your child asks about a religion different than yours don't say they are wrong or that they are going to hell.  Explain that everyone has different beliefs, explain what you believe and the difference.  There is no need to teach your children to discriminate against others because they don't believe the same way you do.  This is the perfect time to reflect the belief system that you carry with you.

4. Gender Stereotyping



- If your child mentions that they want to work in a certain field don't discourage it because you may have notions that this career is for a particular sex.  Children will express interest in a certain career when they want to know more about it.  Take this opportunity to teach your child about this interest. 

Bottom line is that we have to teach our children to respect others.  I am not saying that we should erase our own culture and beliefs.  Children should be taught about their heritage, this gives them a sense of identity.  We need to help our children understand that because we think a certain way others should too.  Imagine a world where there were respect towards one another.  Would this world be different than the one we live in?

At home

At home you can do several things to teach about diversity. Here is a list from which to start with:
Provide a variety of books for your child to read from.  Provide books that teach about your heritage as well as others.  Provide books that include pictures of different children and adults, steer away from books that may send the wrong message.

Here is a list of some books that are great tools to teach children about diversity:

How My Parents Learned to Eat  by Ina R. Friedman
I Love My Hair! by Natasha Tarpley
Baby Dance (Harper Growing Tree) by Ann Taylor
Stinky the Bulldog by Jackie Valent
The Sneetches and Other Stories by Dr. Seuss
Whoever You Are by Mem Fox

Nowadays, advertisement and media has seen the value of showing diversity.  This is necessary for them to sell a product and to a larger group.  This is a good thing but we should still pick and choose what is appropriate for our children to be constantly exposed to.  If your child watches t.v., expose them to programs that celebrate diversity.  While I do not watch a lot of TV or even have cable, here is a list of shows I am familiar with which I believe are appropriate.  There are probably many more, feel free to add them as a comment if you would like to mention more.

Seseame Street (PBS)
Maya & Miguel (PBS)
Dora the Explorer (Nick Jr.)
Ni Hao Kai Lan (Nick Jr.)

I would also like to provide you with several websites of organizations that address this topics and can give you additional information.

http://www.tolerance.org/
www.naeyc.org/
http://www.edchange.org/multicultural/papers/keith.html
http://www.pbs.org/topics/parenting/
http://www.adl.org/

Teaching children about diversity is a life-long commitment.  There will always be an opportunity to teach about this subject.  There may be some topics here you agreed with and some that you did not.  That is okay, it's OK to pick and choose what you want to teach your children and what fits with your lifestyle.  While I am very committed to what say, I can't tell you what to do, right?  This is a choice that you have to make, and whether or not you will choose to teach your children about diversity a little or a lot.  I respect your decision, which ever you may choose, but I sure hope that you can join me in my quest to teach our children to respect and appreciate one another.   

In my next blog I will discuss how teachers can teach about diversity.  This will be a more hands on approach including topics such as activities and toys to use, etc.  You are your child's first and life-long teacher.  This future topic will not exclude parents and home schooled children.